Piper: The only Halliwell that likes earthquakes.
Prue: I don't like them, but I don't go running naked through the house screaming "Run for your life!" either.
Phoebe: Okay, that is such an exaggeration. I was wearing slippers.
Prue: Hey! Be nice. I don't want to talk about sin tonight.
Phoebe: Me neither!
Prue: So, this is a pretty interesting band. What's their name?
Piper: Orgy.
Piper: Dan is back in town.
Leo: So?
Piper: So, what am I going to tell him? The last time I saw him he handed me proof that you were killed in 1942. He's going to expect a reaction from me.
Phoebe: How about, 'Hey Dan, you're right, I am a necrophiliac'.
Leo: (casting a spell) Oh singing lady of the dusk, who prays on men turns love to lust, we harken ye...
Phoebe: We harken ye? What, are we trying to summon a leprechaun here?
Phoebe: I forgot your question.
Piper: I asked if Prue was going to have sex with someone other than herself this year.
Phoebe: That's disgusting. Please say yes.
Phoebe: We call the spirits to help undo and send him off to Timbuktu!
Piper: Timbuktu? You sent him to Timbuktu?!
Phoebe:Well, it was the only thing I could think of that rhymed with 'undo'.
Phoebe: I think I found the demon. Oh my god...
Paige: What? You can't say "demons" followed by "oh my god" - I'm new at this, I'm likely to panic.
Wizard: Please, Merlin was an over-rated hack. Tell me he's not the only wizard you people have ever heard of.
Paige: Does Harry Potter count?
Piper: Well maybe you haven't heard. There's a new Source, the old one is dead.
Paige: Yeah, we already kicked his sorry ass.
Wizard: He didn't die. He was reborn into a new sorry ass. Wait, that didn't come out right.
Paige: Oh, gross. What are you guys watching? Is that some horror movie?
Piper: No, it's "The Joys of Home Birthing." Strangely, I'm not feeling the joy.
Phoebe: What about water birth? Can we do that at home?
Eve: Sure, we can rent a tub.
Piper: What am I a dolphin? I'm not giving birth to fish.
Leo: Well, actually, dolphins aren't fish. They're mammals.
Piper: Shut up!
Piper: Wow, you really know your stuff.
Paige: Well, I learned from the best. I learned from you.
Piper: Thank you, Whitney Houston. Do I sock you in the face now?
Phoebe: I think it worked.
Paige: Either that or we're in Mary Poppins' head.
Leo: Okay, so what exactly are you doing now?
Phoebe: Basking in the brilliance of our failure.
Phoebe: Are you making spaghetti sauce?
Piper: No, that's demon blood.
Phoebe: To marriage!
Piper: Hey, this is supposed to be our anniversary.
Phoebe: To Piper and Leo's marriage, may ours be as successful as theirs.
Piper: Yeh, see that still didn't sound like it was about us.
Phoebe: (As a mermaid) Ouch!
Leo: Sorry. I was a medic, not a vet.
Phoebe: Reverse the spell. Reverse the spell.
Paige: All right, uh.
Spell was cast,
Now make it pass.
Remove it now,
Don't ask me how.
Mordaunt: The sword has chosen. You are the new saviour. The champion of good, the master of Excalibur. Welcome to your new destiny.
Piper: Oh, crap!