Charmed Quotes

Piper: The only Halliwell that likes earthquakes.

Prue: I don't like them, but I don't go running naked through the house screaming "Run for your life!" either.

Phoebe: Okay, that is such an exaggeration. I was wearing slippers.

Prue: Hey! Be nice. I don't want to talk about sin tonight.

Phoebe: Me neither!

Prue: So, this is a pretty interesting band. What's their name?

Piper: Orgy.

 

Piper: Dan is back in town.

Leo: So?

Piper: So, what am I going to tell him? The last time I saw him he handed me proof that you were killed in 1942. He's going to expect a reaction from me.

Phoebe: How about, 'Hey Dan, you're right, I am a necrophiliac'.

Leo: (casting a spell) Oh singing lady of the dusk, who prays on men turns love to lust, we harken ye...

Phoebe: We harken ye? What, are we trying to summon a leprechaun here?

Phoebe: I forgot your question.

Piper: I asked if Prue was going to have sex with someone other than herself this year.

Phoebe: That's disgusting. Please say yes.

Phoebe: We call the spirits to help undo and send him off to Timbuktu!

Piper: Timbuktu? You sent him to Timbuktu?!

Phoebe:Well, it was the only thing I could think of that rhymed with 'undo'.

Phoebe: I think I found the demon. Oh my god...

Paige: What? You can't say "demons" followed by "oh my god" - I'm new at this, I'm likely to panic.

Wizard: Please, Merlin was an over-rated hack. Tell me he's not the only wizard you people have ever heard of.

Paige: Does Harry Potter count?

Piper: Well maybe you haven't heard. There's a new Source, the old one is dead.

Paige: Yeah, we already kicked his sorry ass.

Wizard: He didn't die. He was reborn into a new sorry ass. Wait, that didn't come out right.

Paige: Oh, gross. What are you guys watching? Is that some horror movie?

Piper: No, it's "The Joys of Home Birthing." Strangely, I'm not feeling the joy.

Phoebe: What about water birth? Can we do that at home?

Eve: Sure, we can rent a tub.

Piper: What am I a dolphin? I'm not giving birth to fish.

Leo: Well, actually, dolphins aren't fish. They're mammals.

Piper: Shut up!

Piper: Wow, you really know your stuff.

Paige: Well, I learned from the best. I learned from you.

Piper: Thank you, Whitney Houston. Do I sock you in the face now?

Phoebe: I think it worked.

Paige: Either that or we're in Mary Poppins' head.

Leo: Okay, so what exactly are you doing now?

Phoebe: Basking in the brilliance of our failure.

Phoebe: Are you making spaghetti sauce?

Piper: No, that's demon blood.

Phoebe: To marriage!

Piper: Hey, this is supposed to be our anniversary.

Phoebe: To Piper and Leo's marriage, may ours be as successful as theirs.

Piper: Yeh, see that still didn't sound like it was about us. 

Phoebe: (As a mermaid) Ouch!

Leo: Sorry. I was a medic, not a vet.

Phoebe: Reverse the spell. Reverse the spell.

Paige: All right, uh.

        Spell was cast,

        Now make it pass.

        Remove it now,

        Don't ask me how.

Mordaunt: The sword has chosen. You are the new saviour. The champion of good, the master of Excalibur. Welcome to your new destiny.

Piper: Oh, crap!